


I Don't Want To Go

by micbb



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Episode: s04e18 The End of Time (2), Gen, Regeneration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 20:47:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5716552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/micbb/pseuds/micbb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 10th Doctor says his last goodbyes, and someone comes to say goodbye to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Want To Go

The Doctor was collecting his reward.

He'd seen Martha and Mickey, pleased but unsurprised to see that the two of them had ended up together, fighting aliens to the last.

Pulled Luke out of the way of a car – waving goodbye to Sarah Jane Smith without so much as a word to either of them.

Given Jack Alonzo's name in an alien bar, saying his last goodbye to the man with a nod of his head.

Seen the great granddaughter of Matron Redfern, assured the happiness of the woman he'd hurt when he'd been nothing but a human.

Given one last goodbye to Wilf, giving Donna a lottery ticket as a wedding gift.

And he was on his last goodbye.

The one that would inevitably hurt the worst but had to be saved for last.

"This is your fault," he heard her coming from where he stood, waiting to catch of glimpse of his Rose.

"No, it's not. It's Jimbo. He said he was gunna give us a lift and then he said his axel broke. I can't help it." The unmistakable voice of Jackie made him smile a bit.

"Get rid of him, mum, he's useless," the softer tone of Rose's voice argued with her mother.

"Listen to you, with a mechanic!" Jackie again. With a mechanic, that must be Mickey, he realized. He'd meant to land before all that, even before Mickey, to catch a Rose unchanged by anything that had touched him - including Mickey, though he knew he and Mickey would not meet until much later. "Be fair though," Jackie continued, the two women slowing down. "My time of life, I'm not gonna do much better."

The two women came into his line of sight just as they stopped, and the Doctor's eyes fell on Rose. Her hair was much longer, covered by a floppy hat that must have belonged to a younger Rose, because he'd never seen it, and he knew he would have teased about something so silly.

"Don't be like that," Rose encouraged her mum, place her hand on her mother's shoulder reassuringly. With that movement he spotted a long scarf, one that almost reached her feet, and he felt the ghost of a smile on his lips. He greatly approved. "Never know, there could be someone out there." Rose continued as she fixed her mother's hair.

"Maybe," Jackie acquiesced, and he'd never heard her sound so vulnerable. It was strange, coming from the formidable, bold woman he knew. "One day."

Both women paused for a moment before wishing each other a happy new year. Oh, the Doctor thought, looking around at his surroundings. That's what all the decorations were. He watched Rose hug Jackie, both giggling, before they split apart.

"Don't stay out all night," Rose told her, turning away, towards the estate. It didn't surprise him that Rose was more of the mother figure between the two, acting as the guardian, the protector of everyone, even before the Doctor knew her.

"Try and stop me," Jackie retorted, walking in the opposite direction.

He'd meant only to watch, to say his goodbye with a final look at the girl that had stolen his hearts, but he was unable to choke back the grunt of pain. Holding back on regeneration was never a good idea – it made the pain build slower, more powerful, and it was burning him.

He didn't see her turn around – any normal person would have continued passed such a strange man, huddled into himself on New Year's. Not his Rose.

"You alright, mate?" She called to him, her voice friendly and innocent.

He couldn't not look at her, so he lifted his head. "Yeah." He replied quickly. He shouldn't be here.

But she didn't leave. "Too much to drink?" She asked him, a small smile on her lips.

He met her eyes, standing tall. "Something like that." He responded.

"Maybe it's time you went home," she told him gently, walking towards him. She was wearing almost no makeup, unlike he'd ever seen her, and he couldn't keep his eyes off her beautiful face.

"Yeah," he agreed. He turned to walk towards the TARDIS, but another flash of pain seared in his stomach and he curled over in pain.

Her footsteps quickened towards him, and he didn't even have the energy to tell her to head back home. "Do you need a hand? Or a shoulder?" She offered him with a smile. He looked up and opened his mouth to refuse, but she extended her hand, and he could never not take Rose Tyler's hand.

She pulled him into a standing position and slung his arm over her shoulders, supporting a good part of his weight. "Which way?" She asked him. He pointed weakly, and she began to walk slowly in that direction.

"What year is this?" He asked her suddenly, curious about the fresh-faced Rose with a free smile and a desire to help just about everyone, odd stranger and all.

She laughed, and her laugh was like a music that filled his core. "Blimey mate, how much have you had?" He smiled at her but didn't answer. "It's 2005, January the 1st."

"2005?" He repeated, feeling her hair tug under his arm as she nodded. 2005. The year everything would change, for her and for him. The year he would stumble into her life, say one word, and begin their lives intertwined. The year she would see more than she'd ever imagined, and he would feel more than he'd ever thought possible. The best year in the world because he would meet her.

The TARDIS was not far, which was good, because his vision was starting to blur. Any longer and he would have missed her altogether. "This is good," He told Rose, who raised her eyebrows but stopped anyway. She unslung his arm from her shoulders and carefully leaned him against the TARDIS.

"Be careful, mate." She told him, "Happy New Year." And with that, she turned away, back towards the door of the estate.

"Happy New Year," He murmured, more to himself than to her. "Tell you what, though," He called out, and she turned to face him again, flashing him that tongue-in-tooth smile that made him melt. "I bet you're going to have a really great year." He could promise her that.

She pushed some hair out of her face, "Yeah?" she said, and he nodded, tears coming to his eyes. She grinned widely, "thanks, mate." With that, she turned and ran back towards her home.

The last face this face would see.

He entered his TARDIS with a grunt, watching his hand start to glow. He made a slow round around the console room, sending his old girl into the Time Vortex.

With the burning bumbling within him, he stopped and thought of everyone he'd met, everyone he'd loved, who'd loved him. He looked around what should have been his empty TARDIS, but most certainly wasn't empty.

A figure was sitting on the jump seat, a figure who was both very familiar both felt sort of fuzzy to look at, as though she shouldn't quite be here, or she belonged to his future and was somehow out of synch with the time lines. She was smiling mischievously at him, though her eyes seemed sad. She looked so like Rose that he wanted to break down, fall to his knees, but he didn't.

He couldn't.

She was wearing the same clothes - the torn trousers, the ratty boots, the torn shirt. Right down to the frighteningly messy hair. She stood, walking towards him, prowling, almost, and he found he couldn't move. Her eyes met his, and they glowed gold with the whole of the Time Vortex dancing in them, swirling. She reached out, touching his cheek, just barely enough that he could feel her, and he closed his eyes.

The Moment is coming. The Moment is me.

You have to decide.

"Did I make the right decision?" He whispered, opening his eyes to look at her. She didn't reply, instead beginning to step away from him. In a desperate move, he grabbed her wrist, desperate to keep some version of her around for as long as possible.

"I am just the conscience." Her voice was a whisper, a wolf howling in the wind. "And my conscience would not be clear until saying goodbye, Doctor."

She was gone, leaving the air smelling of roses and time.

He looked around him, at his empty TARDIS. He was seeing with a gold tinge.

It was time.

He could not put it off for any longer.

"I don't want to go."


End file.
